My earliest memory is not a very normal one. It involves porn. I was about 4 or 5. I know I was young because my mom still lived with us. At that time, we would drive down to Florida about twice a year. With three kids to manage, my parents quickly figured out it would be a wise to invest in a small TV. It wasn't really a travel TV but they managed to get it to work as one. It had a 12 inch screen and a VCR player. Steve, Kevin, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. We even fought over it when we were at home. Our parents made us rotate it weekly. When it was my turn, I was ready and waiting with a VHS I was dying to watch. It was probably Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, or something else I had seen many times already but I was eager to watch it in my room. Such a novel experience for a kid. I don't remember who had the TV before me but I do remember setting it up on whatever piece of furniture was on the wall next to my door. The position is memorable because of what happened next. I closed my door and kneeled on the ground in front of the TV. I tried to push my VHS tape in only to find that space to be occupied already. I hit eject and it popped out. It was blank. I pushed it back in to see what was on it. It started playing automatically. I sat down, Indian style, and craned my neck up to watch the startling images. It was what I'd later know is called "soft-core" porn. There was just this chick outside on a four-poster bed with billowing curtains. She was just writhing around in her underwear. I didn't really understand what I was watching but I did know it was probably wrong. I don't know how much time past but at some point my mom opened the door. I instinctively jumped up and hit the power button. I was pretty smart for a kid. But I was just standing there, almost like I was at attention. I think she was saying breakfast was ready but broke off when she noticed how suspicious I was acting. She circled around me and turned the TV on. I tried explaining what happened as quickly as possible, knowing after she saw what I was watching she probably wouldn't listen to me. I was mid-sentence when the images returned. Of course it was at that point that they got a lot dirtier. She turned it off quickly and took the tape out. She didn't yell or lecture me or anything. She took my hand and we left my room. I don't remember what she said but I do remember her asking me "Why do you like to look at naked girls?" I was so surprised by the question and didn't really know what she meant, since I didn't. I just responded "I don't know." And that was the end of it. We went downstairs, hand in hand. She kind of gallops down the stairs, with a kind of hopping motion. I tried to copy it and I think I asked her how or why she did that. Whatever it was, it was more of an attempt to change the topic. Like I said, I was a smart kid.
(credit to Amanda for encouraging me to write my memories down)
